I hope that everyone has safe travels and a thankful spirit.
I for one have so much to be grateful for this year.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Warning Signs
Warning Signs List
I decided to post my list of warning signs. If anyone is perusing blogs and stumbles across this list and finds it helpful, please drop me a comment if you can. Do not, if you might be in danger.
Domestic Abuse occurs in four ways;
Man on woman, man on man, woman on man, and woman on woman.
For ease of making this more understandable, I will use they as the abuser and you as the victim.
If they tell you to wear cologne or not to wear it. Or jewelry.
If they tell you not to belong to the year book committee, the football team, the Free the whales group because it will take time away from them
If they tell you what to, or not to wear, "that shirt makes your eyes sparkle and that should be for me."
If they drive dangerously and you ask them to slow down and they won't.
If they threaten your kids, parents, pets, prized possessions, or I will tell your boss something bad about you.
If they call you twenty times a day to say "I love you, where are you?"
If they show up at school when they should be at work (Just to see how you are doing)
If you live together and they move you way far from your family or friends.
If you live together and they make sure there is only one car and no phone for you to use
Do they grab you, pull you, push you, spit on you, slap you, scratch you, or any other form of aggression like that, That is not love.
Are they jealous of every person you talk with
There are more or other forms of these issues. Does it feel mean to you? Does it leave you feeling loved? Would you do that to someone you loved?
If you answered yes to three or more things on that list then things are sliding in the direction of abuse. If you are in school, you can go speak with a guidance counselor.
If you are an adult in the Erie, Pennsylvania area, then SafeNet shelter can counsel with you for free.
SafeNet Hot Line; 814-454-8161
If you are anywhere else in these United States then please call the
National Domestic Violence Hotline; 1-800-799-7233 24 hours, 7 days a week
I decided to post my list of warning signs. If anyone is perusing blogs and stumbles across this list and finds it helpful, please drop me a comment if you can. Do not, if you might be in danger.
Domestic Abuse occurs in four ways;
Man on woman, man on man, woman on man, and woman on woman.
For ease of making this more understandable, I will use they as the abuser and you as the victim.
If they tell you to wear cologne or not to wear it. Or jewelry.
If they tell you not to belong to the year book committee, the football team, the Free the whales group because it will take time away from them
If they tell you what to, or not to wear, "that shirt makes your eyes sparkle and that should be for me."
If they drive dangerously and you ask them to slow down and they won't.
If they threaten your kids, parents, pets, prized possessions, or I will tell your boss something bad about you.
If they call you twenty times a day to say "I love you, where are you?"
If they show up at school when they should be at work (Just to see how you are doing)
If you live together and they move you way far from your family or friends.
If you live together and they make sure there is only one car and no phone for you to use
Do they grab you, pull you, push you, spit on you, slap you, scratch you, or any other form of aggression like that, That is not love.
Are they jealous of every person you talk with
There are more or other forms of these issues. Does it feel mean to you? Does it leave you feeling loved? Would you do that to someone you loved?
If you answered yes to three or more things on that list then things are sliding in the direction of abuse. If you are in school, you can go speak with a guidance counselor.
If you are an adult in the Erie, Pennsylvania area, then SafeNet shelter can counsel with you for free.
SafeNet Hot Line; 814-454-8161
If you are anywhere else in these United States then please call the
National Domestic Violence Hotline; 1-800-799-7233 24 hours, 7 days a week
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
My Career Choice; Why do I want to be a Domestic Violence Prevention Specialist?
My two research questions,
1. Why do I want to be a Domestic Violence Prevention Specialist?
2. What exactly do I want to do, as a prevention specialist?
I chose to marry young and not listen to those who were older and wiser, who warned me that he was not the one. I made a decision early on that I would never be a divorce statistic, so I tried everything, but mainly staying quiet, laying low and learning to duck his blows. I tried leaving a couple times, he found me and drug me home the first time. The second time I got an apartment and stayed out three months. I faltered in my strength and went back one more time because my boys missed their Dad. The last time I left, I had been married 17 years and I ran for my life, literally.
Once I was free, I reflected, wrote poetry, and finally came to the conclusion that if someone had spoken to me and given me a list of warning signs rather than simply saying he is bad, I may have listened. I contemplated and wrote until I felt that I had a complete list that described ten to twelve signs that could be a wake up call. Those signs go both ways as do abusers. I decided to be a prevention specialist, even though that career did not yet exist.
I wrote a prevention program, and through the local Women's Shelter, Safenet, I taught those programs for over eight years. My goal is to reach and teach as many young people as humanly possible how worthy they are, and equip them with warning signs that are real. For a long time young women sought me out in grocery stores or at Walmart and asked, are you the lady that came to my school. I would answer yes. They would then tell me how because of my work, so and so got out of her bad situation, or someone else got away from their husband before he could break any more bones.
Out working in the schools I started looking for others trying to work in the area of prevention. There are many, but I am particularly fond of Tony Porter, and his call to men. He attempts to teach them where their thinking has gone wrong, and what is acceptable. He is well respected and known in his field, this video come from a talk to women about the man box, and how he is trying to change the way men think.
1. Why do I want to be a Domestic Violence Prevention Specialist?
2. What exactly do I want to do, as a prevention specialist?
I chose to marry young and not listen to those who were older and wiser, who warned me that he was not the one. I made a decision early on that I would never be a divorce statistic, so I tried everything, but mainly staying quiet, laying low and learning to duck his blows. I tried leaving a couple times, he found me and drug me home the first time. The second time I got an apartment and stayed out three months. I faltered in my strength and went back one more time because my boys missed their Dad. The last time I left, I had been married 17 years and I ran for my life, literally.
Once I was free, I reflected, wrote poetry, and finally came to the conclusion that if someone had spoken to me and given me a list of warning signs rather than simply saying he is bad, I may have listened. I contemplated and wrote until I felt that I had a complete list that described ten to twelve signs that could be a wake up call. Those signs go both ways as do abusers. I decided to be a prevention specialist, even though that career did not yet exist.
I wrote a prevention program, and through the local Women's Shelter, Safenet, I taught those programs for over eight years. My goal is to reach and teach as many young people as humanly possible how worthy they are, and equip them with warning signs that are real. For a long time young women sought me out in grocery stores or at Walmart and asked, are you the lady that came to my school. I would answer yes. They would then tell me how because of my work, so and so got out of her bad situation, or someone else got away from their husband before he could break any more bones.
Out working in the schools I started looking for others trying to work in the area of prevention. There are many, but I am particularly fond of Tony Porter, and his call to men. He attempts to teach them where their thinking has gone wrong, and what is acceptable. He is well respected and known in his field, this video come from a talk to women about the man box, and how he is trying to change the way men think.
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