I decided to post my list of warning signs. If anyone is perusing blogs and stumbles across this list and finds it helpful, please drop me a comment if you can. Do not, if you might be in danger.
Domestic Abuse occurs in four ways;
Man on woman, man on man, woman on man, and woman on woman.
For ease of making this more understandable, I will use they as the abuser and you as the victim.
If they tell you to wear cologne or not to wear it. Or jewelry.
If they tell you not to belong to the year book committee, the football team, the Free the whales group because it will take time away from them
If they tell you what to, or not to wear, "that shirt makes your eyes sparkle and that should be for me."
If they drive dangerously and you ask them to slow down and they won't.
If they threaten your kids, parents, pets, prized possessions, or I will tell your boss something bad about you.
If they call you twenty times a day to say "I love you, where are you?"
If they show up at school when they should be at work (Just to see how you are doing)
If you live together and they move you way far from your family or friends.
If you live together and they make sure there is only one car and no phone for you to use
Do they grab you, pull you, push you, spit on you, slap you, scratch you, or any other form of aggression like that, That is not love.
Are they jealous of every person you talk with
There are more or other forms of these issues. Does it feel mean to you? Does it leave you feeling loved? Would you do that to someone you loved?
If you answered yes to three or more things on that list then things are sliding in the direction of abuse. If you are in school, you can go speak with a guidance counselor.
If you are an adult in the Erie, Pennsylvania area, then SafeNet shelter can counsel with you for free.
SafeNet Hot Line; 814-454-8161
If you are anywhere else in these United States then please call the
National Domestic Violence Hotline; 1-800-799-7233 24 hours, 7 days a week
Teen Dating Violence
Teen dating violence is defined as a pattern of actual or threatened acts of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse, perpetrated by an adolescent (between the ages of 13 and 18) against a current or former dating partner. Abuse may include insults, coercion, social sabotage, sexual harassment, threats and/or acts of physical or sexual abuse. The abusive teen uses this pattern of violent and coercive behavior, in a heterosexual or same gender dating relationship, in order to gain power and maintain control over the dating partner.
The scope of the violence is alarming the Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey (1997-1999) has revealed that approximately one in five adolescent girls in the ninth through twelfth grades have reported being physically and/or sexually hurt by a dating partner. This pattern is true across the nation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline launched the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline on February 8, 2007. This new 24-hour resource utilizes telephone and web-based interactive technology to reach teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse. The Helpline numbers are: (866) 331-9474 and TTY (866) 331-8453. The peer-to-peer online individual chat function is available from 4 p.m. to midnight and can be accessed from the website at National Teen Dating Abuse
Though the consequences of dating violence are serious and the need for safety and support may be clear to adults, it is often difficult for young people to recognize and respond to abuse within their intimate relationships. Recognizing that the person you love, who professes to love you, is controlling, abusive or violent may be difficult for adult survivors of domestic violence. For teens who are just beginning to navigate the complexities of intimate relationships, recognition of control and abuse may be more difficult. Even when abuse is recognized, teens whose life experiences and rights are limited may be intimidated or reluctant to seek support and protection from adults in the community.
Who can I talk to about stalking?
If you are a victim of domestic violence and stalking, you can discuss it confidentially with a domestic violence advocate. There are domestic violence programs in each county.
You also may contact the Stalking Resource Center at the National Center for Victims of Crime at 800-FYI-CALL (394-2255), M-F 8:30 AM - 8:30 PM EST
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